13. Emotion / Memory

Closing My Eyes

 

In my mind I can see the corner where I used to sometimes sit in the summertime and eat my lunch. For some reason it was there that I was drawn to thoughts of those who were lonely and mostly ignored. Mental images of that corner bring to mind feelings of sadness.

 

I remember riding my bicycle around in a big circle on the adjoining patio. I’d try to see just how slowly I could ride without having to put my foot down. My mother would sometimes sit in the middle of the circle and watch me ride; she loved to talk with me and tell me how well I was doing. I think those were some of her favorite times. Mine, too. Her gift was definitely being a mother. I feel comfortable and at home when I think about those times.

 

The tree in the front yard is old now and missing most of the limbs that made it a great climbing tree. As boys, my friends and I would make sandwiches, take our pocketknives along with a few other tools and head to the big pine. We’d climb to the very top and feel ourselves swaying in the wind. It was quiet and beautiful up there. We’d watch as the cars passed by on the street below. Feelings of peace and freedom are connected with these memories.

 

Christmas morning was always a huge event for me. I was overwhelmed to find that Santa had actually visited our home. It was as if the weeks of anticipation leading up to Christmas all came crashing in on that one day. The days following Christmas I was left feeling lost and empty. A slight sense of panic would set in, and for a while I would dread nightfall and the end of the day. When “big” things come to an end I still have that feeling.

 

Days 13-16 Guide

 

Emotion and memory are intertwined making is nearly impossible to think of some things without arousing the associated feelings. I believe it’s safe to say that when we reminisce, it’s actually in an effort to find those feelings again.

 

Writing in a journal is an ideal way to consistently stay in touch with yourself, your emotions and your memories. Taking control of your emotions is often times a matter of controlling the thoughts of your life-experiences. The process of writing tends to govern your ideas in a helpful way.

 

Click here to read about the writing process I call Brainstreaming.

 

© 2005, Levi Hill

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